Raised by a Wolf
Elephants are trained when babies by putting a chain around their ankle so they can't break free. As the elephant matures it doesn't know the power of its own strength so stays tied to something it could easily rip out of the ground. That's an example of mindset.
Aria was a sensitive kid raised by a narcissistic mom. Her mother wanted Aria to be perfect. This was confusing for a kid who longed for her mother's love. She flip-flopped between trying be who her mother wanted and rebelling against that impossible task.
She grew into an adult, but continued to live as if she was still in that old role. She was used to hiding her feelings because sharing them felt dangerous given her old mindset. That didn't work well in relationships. If you hide your feelings, others can't feel them either. That's a zero sum game. You lose out on being fully known & on the intimacy that comes with it, and your partner is kept at arm’s length. Sharing and vulnerability is glue in satisfying relationships.
Doors suddenly opened when she began to look at her history.
The first step was to begin *neutrally* looking at uncomfortable feelings as they came up, then learning how to express them without spewing a torrent of protective fire 🔥🐉🐲 Fire breathing may feel addictively safe, after all it is exciting. But it actually separates us even more, and breaks connection.
Aria worked with a gifted mentor who helped her make the shifts. Her mentor helped her stay on track while Aria let go of her outdated beliefs + supported her when fears showed up, so the process felt safe. It was also much faster.
If you resonate with her story, imagine having what you truly want. What’s your first step?
It's doable.
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