Protect Yourself from Jerks & Time-Sucks

Tempus Fugit 🕰️🪽

Dating someone you really like can have roller-coaster like excitement: the highs, the lows, the adrenaline, with a flood of hormones swirled in.

This is the time to s l o w down.

Go against your desire to speed up.

Don’t give your heart away too soon.

Why?

It can save you time: months, even years through some painful, ‘almost’ relationships with men who don’t know what they want, but may be happy to hang out with you… for now.

Life is finite. Spend more time with ‘the one’, rather than in a rotating whirl of love-life candidates. 🎢🎡🎟️

As you approach mid-life you begin to see you have less time left. That’s a sobering fact that will have you scrutinizing your patterns so you can stop repeating them.

You want to find a partner on the same wavelength as you, one you feel an affinity with.

If you date from that excited place without pacing yourself, not first getting to know him well, you can easily slide into a relationship where you find that you don't want the same things.

He doesn't know what he wants in terms of a relationship, yet you want a long-term partner heading towards marriage, so 3 to 6 months on or even longer, you realize you have basic incompatibility. That's painful for you, to end it and begin anew.

Plus it takes time to recover, to sit on the sidelines if you do.

Tick tock. Life keeps moving even if you aren’t.

There are always exceptions to this rule. You’ll hear about someone who met their person, hooked-up, and they’ve been together ever since. They are not the rule. If you’re reading this, you know that.

If instead you slow down in the beginning, take your time and get to know him, have necessary conversations that tell you if you're both on the same page, you’ll learn whether you’re well-suited and well-matched or simply 2 people attracted to each other, but with an incompatibility that won't go the distance.

You’re saving yourself

Time.

Recovery.

Pain.

Energy, the necessary resource to continue seeking that alive, connecting love we all want.

You can get ‘out there’ again fast to find the right guy, and have more time with him.

You’re still taking risks, too, having vulnerable conversations about what you want for your life, what they want, too. These conversations show you how much you value your life.

You’ll find this out early on without getting into a relationship with a man who doesn’t want the same things. Then you can look for a man who does!

You can't, please don't, bank on him changing his mind, or on you changing his mind. You can spend years trying to do that, fooling yourself when you could've had what you wanted all along. Don’t date a man’s possibility, but who he is now.

What you want is possible.

Find someone else who wants it - that makes the possibility of having what you want much more likely. Now.

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If you think you’re getting in your own way, I can help you speed things up.

Schedule a 30 min Zoom with me: https://calendly.com/allison_evans/consult-call