"If I Could Change Your Mind
I could make you mine, make you mine..."
“It’s up to you to break the old circuits.” Helene Cixous
JJ left a note at Ana’s place which read, “you’re causing me to change my philosophy.” Had she been able to see it for what it was, she’d have saved herself a year of eddying in circles, going nowhere with him. Instead, the words lit up her brain, gratified her hungry soul, and led her on the path to being hooked. She felt she was about to get what she’d always wanted - to be deeply loved. That came with a heaping dose of excitement and dopamine. 💥
A result of low self-esteem is not believing you can be loved for yourself. As Is. You think you have to earn love. Ana didn’t value herself enough, so looked to love relationships to prove her value. But, no one will see your value when you don’t see it yourself. Your most important relationship is with yourself first. She wasn’t conscious of this so invested more and more of her heart in JJ.
They had undeniable chemistry. But, the relationship had dramatic highs and lows, too, which they both poured gasoline on. She loved JJ madly, but also feared getting too close, fearing if she did, he wouldn’t love the real her. Ana was devastated when JJ broke up with her because she made him more important than herself, so he believed himself more important, too.
That’s what low self value will do - you feel others are responsible for your happiness, but ultimately you’re at the helm of your ship. Yes, it can be scary to realize it’s all up to you, yet exhilarating, too. Until you learn that and begin to live as #1, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns.
If you want help breaking the old circuits, I‘ll work with you to transform this pattern, to help you become the CEO of your love life, and of other primary relationships in your life, too.
You can schedule a 30 min Zoom with me: https://calendly.com/allison_evans/consult-call